I am looking for an educated family for my son and during the course I have come across many families. I am sorry to say that Muslim families are some how obsessed with the matching of height rather then the family back ground, education of the boy and his potential to carry through the most competitive survival economic market in US. US born or otherwise, the economic and growth opportunities are the same. Mostly people are in service and I have seen both are venerable to lay off etc. It all depends, as I mentioned earlier the education of the boy and his field of specialty. Doctors with US approved qualifications may be having an edge on others, otherwise it is the same for every one. Those settled in their own business also have a better economical survival chance, depending on their business but are also equally venerable to set backs.
You are right in analyzing that what most parents and girls (with particular reference to Muslim community) are looking for qualities while choosing a spouse are quite different then what other communities living in US.
Some ladies commented that every one is looking for a Shah Rukh Khan. You are also correct when you say that the World is filled with normal people.
The net result what I have seen is that girls are reaching an advanced age and is the source of worry for parents in US.
Most of the girls who have good jobs over some period come to the conclusion that when they can pull on as being single why to get married. This is also the comments I have heard from many wise ladies.
Well, having the basic demand of US born and raised is also not a guarantee that the marriage would be success, otherwise there would not have been so many unfortunate divorces.
To my mind the parents should look for the family back ground and grooming of the boy. I am sorry for going into this discussion, I would conclude giving one example that in one case at the final stage of going through exchange of views, one mother dropped the issue on the plea that her daughter is 5'-5" but she wears three inches heal and she will look taller then the boy.
My son by the grace of Allah has all the potential but what I have seen here that parents are allergic to his H-1, status. Then is the obsession of US born and raised taboo, I could not make out any plus point in that, I have however heard parents commenting that boys other then US born/raised are not broad minded. I do not understand what really they imply. I feel it all depends on grooming of the boy rather then where he was born or raised but as you have very rightly commentated one can not argue with the parents on this issue. My son has a very deep understanding of Eastern and Western culture, as he had been to the capital cities of Europe and USA as part of his research work. On this issue as well it is very hard to convince the parents of girls.
Thank you for your time.